I have to harass my boyfriend to plan dates and I’m getting sick of it.
We have date night twice a week, but his suggestions are always to either stay in and cook dinner for me, or once in a while we see a movie or go out to a nice restaurant. That’s it. He spends all his free time lifting and playing video games and he never wants to do anything fun. He has like one friend he sees twice a month if that. I would rather go on hikes, walk around our city, or a bike ride, a street market, or a weekend trip out of our city. Or plan an outing with my friends. Or to go to a club and dance. He always grunts when I plan
>we’ve been to this street market thousands of times it sucks
>you don’t need me to go on a bike ride with you you know
>i can’t afford a trip right now
>dancing at clubs is for single people
>your friends are fake and ghost you all the time I don’t want to hang out with them
>you can’t even do a pull up why do you think you can do all these bike rides and this hyperactive shit when you make excuses to not come to the gym with me (this one pissed me off)
It’s so fricking domestic and he puts in the bare minimum. He tells me I need to find a hobby. Or he tries to gaslight me and says shit like “just because you don’t have any interests to indulge alone mean you get to take it out on me and make it my fault”. I literally have to cry to get my own boyfriend to make plans. I’ve made him promise to plan something for us to do outside at least twice a month and he kept that up for maybe two months before he called it exhausting and made up more excuses.
What should I do?
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Fricking kek. Women are so annoying.
yeah that’s an “I hate women” from me dawg
Hikes are fricking based, I would've come with you if I was him.
I do kinda understand not wanting to go around places, but it must be made up in some other way IMO. Like to me the important part of being with someone is just being together - we can be together on a hike or at home drinking tea, we just have to be fully present for each other. But if he's just being negligent, then that's a different story.
>date night twice a week
Who the frick has the time and energy to plan and go on dates twice a week. I don't fault him for not wanting to do anything bc that's way too much. Expecting him to plan for that twice a week is just insane. It explains why he has 0 interest in going along with your plans bc I would be fricking annoyed if I had to go out twice a week for some stupid shit my gf planned with 0 consideration for me.
Heres a good solution: Make date night less frequent and plan dates around his interests. I'm sure once he sees you putting in that effort for him he'll reciprocate and take you on dates you like.
> your friends are fake and ghost you all the time I don’t want to hang out with them
> just because you don’t have any interests to indulge alone mean you get to take it out on me and make it my fault
So basically, you harass random “friends” to hang out all the time, they say no, you harass your boyfriend, he says no. You sound codependent, like you literally need someone around otherwise you explode or die. I’m pretty sure this is separation anxiety - seek help and leave your boyfriend alone.
Also this. Twice a week, every single week, for two working adults is insane. You’re not conjoined twins ffs
And are you going to pay for all that bullshit?
Nothing annoys me more than a woman begging me to do stuff and then expecting me to pay for it. If you want to do something, then you drive me there and you pay for it. Otherwise shut the frick up.
A fat virgin man created this thread btw.
Perhaps. But it hit the mark either way.
>It’s so fricking domestic
Welcome to real everyday life as an adult. Most of it is safe, boring and predictable. If you want wild, carefree and adventurous, you chose the wrong guy, and are probably clutching onto youthful fantasy beyond its time. There is nothing wrong with you both having your own hobbies and space away from one another. If you have a different idea of fun than him, then do your idea of fun and let him do his. You aren't attached at the hip, and if you spend time apart you can come back with stories to tell, which keeps the relationship interesting. It isn't too much to ask for him to join you on your plans occasionally, but asking him to plan something for you that he won't enjoy is too much. If you want a stable longterm relationship, then give up the wild youthful ways; if you want wild youth, then give up the idea of a stable exclusive relationship. Just know that everything has its price, and consequences. What you're paying now is the price of that kind of relationship, and the price you'd pay for a more unpredictable way of life will be different. Quit crying and make your choice.
True and that's a part of maturing. You can be happy and bored or alone and full of crazy encounters with people. Most people are very happy to live the happy domestic life when they get older because life gets hectic enough on its on. It's nice to have a secure predictable person and place to return to.
Here's my advice that I got from an old couple:
>Every 2 weeks have a date night 1 night
>Every 2 months have a date weekend like a little getaway
>Every 2 years go on a 1 week vacation
So why does he get so bothered by wanting to go out and do stuff? Would he be open to taking a week long vacation somewhere?
I think another part of it that's really telling is his comments about "find a hobby". Let me ask you this. Are you own individual person? Do you actually have your own life with friends and hobbies? I know me and my gf hang out and talk for probably 1 hour a day after work. We talk about our day and eat dinner. After that she's off reading and painting and im playing video games. Are you giving him the opportunity to miss you? Really this is important, are you away enough for him to miss you? If you are always on him and taking up a bunch of his time then he won't want to do shit with you. Men are like cats (seriously). If you chase them and always pet them they run away. If you sit on the couch and do your own shit they will come to you.
Kys
>twice a week,
frick that shit. bye, you're gone
why do you people get baited so easily, the second a "woman" posts it just evokes such an unreasonably large response
N-
I've been a dick to my gf the last few days and was thinking of leaving her, but reading this i think ill keep her kek
Tell him the truth, which is that you're a nagging b***h and that he should leave you. Almost all of the complaints you greentexted are legitimate.
>Or to go to a club and dance
He should break up with you.
Speaking as a guy who plans all kinds of fun and expensive dates with my gf, only for her to refuse sex with me, frick you
>I have to harass my boyfriend to plan dates and I'm getting sick of it
Then frick off and pay your own bills. Holy shit, you killed an /adv/ thread for this. Just leave the man alone to do what he wants to do and enjoy the time you spend together, or frick off and find a man who likes the things you like. Don't make it complicated and keep trying to turn people into what they're not, that's not how this shit works.
see the problem is you want him to plan some sumptuous or complicated bullshit twice a week. Those things are maybe once a month. He's gonna get sick of your shit soon and you'll be boyfriendless if you keep nagging him about it.
hoimenoimenoiboyfriendnododatehoimenoi
Make friends that don’t ghost you and share those interests with you. This is why it’s important to have people aside from your partner who wants to hangout. I assume you don’t play games and lift with him either?
You will have my time
>He spends all his free time lifting and playing video games and he never wants to do anything fun
He got complacent, in his male brain he conquered you, why bother. Notice that he doesnt listen to you. He doesnt notice attraction drop to the abysmal level of you seeking guidance outside of him. You man has no experience, only breakup, pain and regret will fix it (maybe) dor his next relationship. He wont stop taking you for granted untill you leave
>I literally have to cry to get my own boyfriend to make plans
His relationship skills are non existent. You wont change that, leave. Heal, take your time, find a man who knows what he is doing
>What should I do?
Its not going to get better and you know it. Dont monkeybranch. Also read 3 percent man by Corey Wayne, you will be amazed on how much you are missing out by dating manchildren and you will learn what to look for
You harassed him for plans, you have "date night" twice a week with him cooking for you, taking you out to movies and restaurants, you already have been to a street market of your choice and it sounds as if you dont last very long for activities. Then you try to slander your own boyfriend that he goes to the gym and plays video games when he even invited you to the gym and you dont want to go.
>I would rather go on hikes, walk around our city, or a bike ride, a street market, or a weekend trip out of our city
Thats okay, he takes you to the street market rather often.
>>you don’t need me to go on a bike ride with you you know
Do you relax when you go out? Are you always agitated?
>>i can’t afford a trip right now
Where is it that you asked him to go? What is the place like?
at clubs is for single people
I kind of agree, I kind of disagree.
>>your friends are fake and ghost you all the time I don’t want to hang out with them
Despite that he still stays with you, your "friends" sound unreliable and chances are you that you are with said friends as you know them from since kindergarten or something. Aside from that they sound toxic and talk shit about you.
>>you can’t even do a pull up why do you think you can do all these bike rides and this hyperactive shit when you make excuses to not come to the gym with me (this one pissed me off)
Maybe do something close to home for outdoor activities. He goes gym, that is plenty of exercise and you are offering him more physical stuff. At least you both relax and take your time when you do that physical stuff.
If the relationship is your hobby, you dont make it seem like a hobby you its like you make it a "job". I dont understand, what is making you so unsettled?
Dumbest c**t in the thread, most pretentious on the board.
Drink bleach
>We have date night twice a week
And you're still fricking complaining? Typical women.
Leave him alone and let him do his own things he enjoys rather than having him centre his life around yours. You annoying, self-centred, selfish twat.
You should invite him over but make sure he catches you fricking another guy when he walks in the door. That'll show him, it's time for you to assert dominance even more.
Take care of his needs. Every man has the sickness. You are in a relationship situation so stand on business.
>We have date night twice a week
I shouldn't help you, but that's the problem. Don't plan dates, tell him come up with something every so often. Planning dates is just fricking boring to women.
>What should I do?
Get a different boyfriend - one who enjoys the same things you enjoy.
Date night twice a week as in leave the house twice a week to do shit?
Yeah no thanks lol and that's coming from a fellow female
Dumb b***h.
Go jump off a bridge
I know someone that's going to end up in a relationship like this, and her dumb female brain is going to make her think she's stuck because she would've invested so much time, effort, and even money into keeping their relationship going. It's funny, because they literally do this to themselves because they're too afraid to be alone.
Where do i find a gf that actually wanna spend time with me? Last one just used to make fun of me, fricked constantly with other guys and only talked to me at midnight
dont cry.
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