Porn ruined my life

I'm 26/f and I have been into pornography for so long and also kink ever since I turned 19. I used to be kinda plain, blonde, 5'6, nothing really special about me. But I got obsessed with becoming a sex doll and I got breast implants taking my A cups to E-cups and they're not only uncomfortable they also look grotesque on me. Veins show on them. I also spent a lot of time pumping my pussy so it could hang out of my miniskirt and now I feel like the skin isn't as taut as it could be. My lip fillers are also a lot but I don't regret them as much. How do I go back to being normal? I have piercing scars all over my breasts and labia. I know this sounds too much but I really just want a nice husband at this point. Fortunately I didn't get any tattoos. But I did a lot of extreme kink. Any advice welcome I don't know how to go back to being the girl I used to be.

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    At least make your bait realistic

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm trans btw.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You're going to get a lot of negative comments, so i'll chime in before an incel dos.

    You still have plenty of time. Implants only last ~10 years or so, so you still have time to replace them with smaller ones. They can also give you a lift t the same time. So if you made your breasts smaller, like maybe d-c cups, you'd feel a lot better.

    The lip fillers aren't a problem, a lot of instagram models get those done too.

    A lot of ex pornstars are able to get married, have kids, and settle down. Misc can seethe all they want to. You're fine.

    Just relax, get some therapy, get yourself a nice blanket and up of tea, and pad your savings for some light modifications.

    Men won't be put off by you being into kinky stuff in the past. Plenty of people explored their sexuality and found what works for them, and what doesn't.

    Many people chang with time as well. Just embrace the person you are now, and don't worry about the past.

    I wouldn't bother rading past this point. If you're not fishing with this post as bait, then you're going to end up with a lot of salty guys disagreeing and reeeeeing about muh housewife muh morals and so on. Tiresome. Ignore them and just be your best self, don't bother coming on here again, they don't have anything useful to contribute.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Typos out the ass with my keyboard, holy frick.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you anon. You don't know how much this means to me. I'll stop reading, this is all I really needed to hear.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        <3

        I worked in porn for a while. A lot of girls quit and retire, many become completely faceless and move on. If literal pornstars can move on, then you can do. You'll be alright.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >I worked in porn for a while
          Wtf seriously? What was your stage name?

          Thank you anon. You don't know how much this means to me. I'll stop reading, this is all I really needed to hear.

          I do not get why you would do that to yourself OP. I was engaged to an escort/stripper/camgirl and even when I got past her job and 200+ laycount there was still the severe mental issues and alcohol and drug abuse and her abusing me. But since I did love her it would have worked out if she didnt hurt me and my family. Just be upfront about it to men you want to date. My ex was point blank to me. Just reminded me of this your post I guess.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I was a camera guy, don't get excited

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How'd it end?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            With us both going to prison

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Men won't be put off by you being into kinky stuff in the past. Plenty of people explored their sexuality and found what works for them, and what doesn't.
      This is bullshit. You know how fricked everybody thought I was when I was engaged to an escort? I am not even an incel but you are lying. Better or worse men do care about that and women as well. Its deviant behavior do not normalize it.
      >A lot of ex pornstars are able to get married, have kids, and settle down. Misc can seethe all they want to. You're fine
      You do not need to be an incel or neo nazi to not want to date a former or current pornstar. I only got involved with an escort cause she lied about everything and said she didnt want to be one and so on and so forth. I got over it but it still hurt me everytime she had to frick a new guy. Not to mention how headfricked it made her on top of her already being insane and an alcoholic.
      >Many people chang with time as well. Just embrace the person you are now, and don't worry about the past.
      That is true as I was in prison and used to shoot up meth and coke and I did change BUT people still judge me for it and I do not bring it up. Your past actions can and do affect your future or present. But you can change yes.

      Also its not about morals or tradwives or politics its a boldface lie to say men do not care about women having high bodycounts. Just like women do not want a virgin.

      I can go on about this but I wont cause you are gonna call me a neo nazi incel virgin even though I am not.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        seethe

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I said nothing to insult you, sex workers, OP or anyone else I just gave a personal story based on real experiences I have had and the best you can do is insult me. There is no absolutely no winning with people like you.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >People like me

            I'll actually post something nice for you as well, then.

            I'm sorry about your life experiences. I'm sure that quitting drugs from tweaking was hard, and that carrying that level of "baggage" around when dating really sucks.

            But it's not really hopeless for you either, and my point is still the same.

            Yes, sometimes people are immature and can't accept life experiences from people they are getting to know. Yes, there are people who demand ABSOLUTE PERFECTION from their partners. These types of people are not healthy or worthwhile to date, and I'd argue that the types of emotional attachments they are able to make, aren't actually very real. These emotional attachments are shallow at best.

            You're better off without people like this in your life, trust me.

            If someone wants a puppet witho0ut life experience, I wish them luck. It won;t work out well for them though. Life hits everyone eventually, and these types of people won't be equipped to handle it. l It's likely why a lot of people k1ll themselves. But you're better off for the resilience, it's a more valuable character trait to have.

            Also, as one gets older, the types of values they tend to have shift. I value resilience, perseverance, honestly, and aesthetics. Others may come to value something else as time gos on, but we shouldn't be throwing people away just because they changed over time and had a few moments. It's too high a standard, no one can live up to it.

            I would argue that you're not in the wrong, but rather the people who can't accept that life happens. It's a delusional mindset.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You do not need to censor any words here man nothing gets filtered. It is not even that deep is all I am saying. Your average person looks at sex work, drugs, prison time, etc as no nos and for the most part they are redflags. My family and friends accepted my ex despite sex work eventually but she was violent and psycho to them later.

            Anyways all that happened like 4-5 years ago. I forget myself and bring it up sometimes and people are shocked and judge me on it.

            Most people cannot change and I know a lot of sex workers with a heart of gold and all that but drugs and sex oriented lifestyles attract a lot of bad people and fricked up shit gets normalized.

            It is not about morals, religion, politics, ethics etc. really.

            Sex work exploits women anyways they are usually victims of childhood sexual abuse with drug or alcohol habits to feed and cannot hold down a job. I know a lot of guys (usually old coomers) will try and save them from the life or whatever but its not how it works and its not so simple as that.

            Me and my ex fundamentally were both very mentally broken suffering people. Except it made her evil and made me resilent to overcome that lifestyle and get out of it.

            Idk what point I am trying to make anymore but there are guys out there like me who have dark pasts and comparable not equal sexual history who have changed and would not judge a woman like OP for doing similar yes. But if she has dark triad traits, addictions and emotional problems like my ex then the guy will have to avoid her for his own safety.

            And regardless its extremely hard and difficult to love someone who is having sex with other people while you are together. Even though sex is just money to them my ex would use it against it me in arguments and compare me to clients.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I know man. I guess my point is that I don't believe anyone is fundamentally broken. I don't want to live in a world where we don't at least try to give each other hope and try to buod each other up. I know people frick up sometimes, but I don't believe most people are beyond redemption.

            Treating people like that, just makes them act like that. And I won't add to that kind of problem. There's hope for most people out there, believe it.

            That's not to say fundamentally broken people don't exist, but I don't believe you're one of them, and I don't believe OP is either.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I agree with what you are saying. But you cannot help someone who does not want your help and true change and growth comes within and occurs when we suffer and learn from adversity.

            I would not say necessarily I am fundamentally flawed or broken but I have a lot of mental illnesses that are not as common shall we say as depression or anxiety. I have had to work hard on developing empathy and forgiving others.

            I appreciate your kind words and perspective and wish you all the best.

            Salut.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >But you cannot help someone who does not want your help and true change and growth comes within and occurs when we suffer and learn from adversity.
            Also am just speaking generally here and do not mean anyone here does not want help or cannot be helped. And I do not think overall OP is a bad person or unlovable etc even if she kept her implants or whatever. It is not much different than me taking tren to have big muscles. People gonna judge regardless of how well put together you are or are not. If someone wants to look whatever way hey thats all cool I wanna look like a comic book or anime character so who am I to belittle anyone?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Also obligatory. When did you start filming porn rabbi ?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        And also even as a man if I tell women I used to be a tweaker, was in prison, dated prostitutes etc then they are gonna not want me likewise women have "bawdshamed" me so its not only an incel or nazi thing.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      simp ass b***h

  4. 4 weeks ago
    G. Feelgood, M.D.

    Whew

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