Scared

I'm a seventeen years-old teenagers and my mom had cancer when I was four. I think it developed my philophobia. I said to my parents when I was younger that I could said I love you to them because it just makes me want to cry.

Tomorrow, I'm kind of going on a date and I'm scared, I'm going to screw this up. I like him and I want to date him but still i'm freaking out.

Last year, I had my first boyfriend and I was really scare also. I made him run after me for 6 months before I finally was able to date him. I had a nice experience but I broke up with him after 2 months because it was too many affection I guess.

I hurt every boy liking me. I want that to stop. Please, help me.

I don't want to screw my date tomorrow. I pretty nervous, I'm sweating, I can feel my heart beat a lot, I just want to cry but there is no reason why... I don't know what to do..