14. i used to be really transphobic being raised by my family but at the same time i would literally start crying in my room because I wasn't a girl lmao. fricking hated body hair when it started growing and always wanted long hair, and was always jealous of my female cousins and wanted to be like them as a kid but for some reason until I was 14 it never occurred to me that I might actually be trans. still haven't come out to anyone yet though, probably never will
17 was my eureka-moment, then i spent about 3 years literally not doing anything about it and letting puberty finish and ruin my chances at a even remotely happy life
At 11 i grew my hair out completely again, and tried to stay androgenous.
At 15 when i came out as gay i wanted to transition but thought it was all surgical horrors.
Didn't find out about hormones until much much later, and made arrangements to transition the literal day i did.
So is say early, i had the desire but didn't have a name for it until i was 15.
When I was 14 I went on a cruise with my parents, my mom wanted to take me to the ~spa~ and she split off going into the girls change room. I went into the men's and immediately saw a grown man, completely naked walking around, idk what I felt in that moment but I immediately turned around and ran to my cabin.
My mom, wondering where I went, eventually came back to the cabin, saw me reading a book and started questioning me.
She wanted to know *why* I ran away when I saw a naked dude.
One of the questions she eventually asked me was "Do you want to be a girl," & I paused, then said yes.
15 is when I really started questioning it. Thats when I started realizing that lgbt people could be normal too and not just freaks like my family told me. Before that I just had general dysphoria where I knew I wanted to be more fem looking. But didn't know what I was supposed to do about that lol.
i kinda knew from elementary as in that i didnt feel like a boy or like i was the same as the other boys but even if i had known the concept of being trans back then i wouldn't have called myself that after all, it was prepuberty so there was no real difference between me and the girls i was friends with on a first glance (i had relatively long hair back then and where i lived people would dress their children in unisex clothing)
it started to change when i was 11 and people started to treat me more as a boy and when puberty began to show it really drove me insanne and made me miserable
So at around 13/14 i tried to really come out to my mother... who thought it was just a sexual fetish kind of thing which drove me back into the closet
then she died and i had to move in with my father and my stepmother, move to a different state and switch schools
i didnt get along with either of them and after a year, we moved again, i had to switch schools again my depression fricked me up completely and at that point i tried to come out to my father again
who basically reacted like my mom
i even tried to talk to a therapist about this at some point but cuz i wasnt there for that and rather cuz my mom wanted to know why i was causing so many problems in school that went nowhere
When i was 11 or 12 i first heard about what trans people where and i was a little confused, i didnt kno you could change ur gender just like that. I told my mom about it, and she told me i wasnt trans and was just going through a phase. I was raised ultraconservative and catholic so being trans wasnt rly an option. I didnt feel so much dysphoria till i was in puberty, and thats when the dysphoria got very intense. I thought i would eventually grow out of it so i repressed till I was at least 17. And then I decided i didnt want to live like anymore.
>and almost realized at 7, but i was simply too moronic
Me missing somehow dreams of being a girl, wanting a fem name, and burning off body hair when I first got it.
nothing wrong with that anon, you just are who you are. i need to learn to accept myself as a man who crossdresses sometimes too but it's gonna be hard.
spending too long on this board really made me think i was trans. good luck to everyone though. i think i'll still stay, seeing boymoders and successful transitions make me really happy though and im happy for those of you out there
I dont have these early memories of being desperate about being a girl as a child.
The closest thing is porn experimentation when i hit puberty, stuff like gender bender hentai and the like. Not that that is any indication.
None of this "I dreamed of being a girl since I was 7"
of course my memory isn't the best, too many shit has happened but still I would remember if I wanted to be a girl.
I simple took a fetish I had, one of many, and started thinking it was reality when in fact it is not, as evidenced by this very thread, with people having clear desires since some early memory and clear indication of their desire manifesting in real life.
Having a problem is not the same as understanding what tbe problem is.
Did you never feel weird, like there was something wrong but you couldn't put your finger on what, like you were different from others, a sense of longing for something but you could never figure out what, a sense of envy and desire when you saw girls just being girls, feeling like you were missing something even though you had the same things as every other kid?
I knew I was supposed to be a girl as young as 4, but somewhere along the way I managed to repress so well that I almost forgot about it and tried my hardest to be a boy, a sensitive boy like everyone called me.
And did not realize again till puberty.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>Did you never feel weird, like there was something wrong but you couldn't put your finger on what, like you were different from others, a sense of longing for something but you could never figure out what, a sense of envy and desire when you saw girls just being girls, feeling like you were missing something even though you had the same things as every other kid?
I was pretty different thats true I guess? I didnt have as much as a crush, and never tried to get a gf until senior year of high school, but thats because I was a shy loser with depression and self esteem issues.
Girls didn't really seem to matter to me when younger.
I really dont fricking know anymore. It could easily be just repression, but I just feel fake thinking about it, you know?
Just being agp seems far more straightforward of an answer, that severe repression of being trans.
cause i dont have these moments of clarity before i was 20. i was fine living my life as male and being in male dominated spaces and doing male sports, and having short hair. i remember being uncomfortable around females and women my age in general cause i dont ever want them to know i crossdress to get off. it's pretty easy to avoid women in general though cause they always assume im gay or something. which was weird cause im definitely not gay, i just like being a woman in the bedroom just not IRL. maybe if im lucky i'll find someone who can tolerate my kinks and we can live happily every after :p
i guess those answers are as good a reason as my answer for why im trans
cause i dont have these moments of clarity before i was 20. i was fine living my life as male and being in male dominated spaces and doing male sports, and having short hair. i remember being uncomfortable around females and women my age in general cause i dont ever want them to know i crossdress to get off. it's pretty easy to avoid women in general though cause they always assume im gay or something. which was weird cause im definitely not gay, i just like being a woman in the bedroom just not IRL. maybe if im lucky i'll find someone who can tolerate my kinks and we can live happily every after :p
I dressed up as a cheerleader for Halloween when I was 6 with fake boobs and everything then I starting praying to god to change me into a girl when I was 11 but I didn’t know about trans people until I was about 15
Around ~14ish I knew I wasn't quite like other guys but wrote it off as mild autism, I was 19 when I realized that most people don't contextually swap between male/female voices in their internal monologue or have a fully developed mental image of themselves as the opposite gender. Got super confident and started casually dating around 22 only to realize that PIV sex does next to nothing for me and that cuddling and making out are the highlights of hooking up with a girl. Didn't know what to do with this for years until I started lurking here and settled on "I'd probably transition if there was a super easy way to do it, but otherwise I think I'm okay cuz I'm not noticeably dysphoric".
I was an egg until 18 but I kinda knew deep down since I was about 11. I always felt like if someone seen my bare chest in like swimming that I was naked or something so I covered up
used to practise voice feminisation at 11 years old without knowing it was a thing I didn't want to have a deep voice, I became extremely quiet and awkward when my voice dropped
as a kid I always used to pretend to be a female superhero in a game/movie when nobody was around.
I hated the way other guys would act especially when I was in high school, could never relate to them.
I preferred feminine exercises like stretching/yoga and cardio instead of football/basketball. I used compensate for lack of masculinity by lifting weights and faking confidence.
14
but have been dysphoric for as long as I can remember just kinda stupid and didn't realise until 14
14. i used to be really transphobic being raised by my family but at the same time i would literally start crying in my room because I wasn't a girl lmao. fricking hated body hair when it started growing and always wanted long hair, and was always jealous of my female cousins and wanted to be like them as a kid but for some reason until I was 14 it never occurred to me that I might actually be trans. still haven't come out to anyone yet though, probably never will
17 was my eureka-moment, then i spent about 3 years literally not doing anything about it and letting puberty finish and ruin my chances at a even remotely happy life
haha hello me
sup twinnie
At 11 i grew my hair out completely again, and tried to stay androgenous.
At 15 when i came out as gay i wanted to transition but thought it was all surgical horrors.
Didn't find out about hormones until much much later, and made arrangements to transition the literal day i did.
So is say early, i had the desire but didn't have a name for it until i was 15.
I thought about it for years and years - since around 13
But I wasn't sure until 19
Through a boring series of events I ended up alone in a house with no electricity or friends but my girl clothes.
Then I kind of got to thinking about why I feel so comfortable wearing feminine clothing around the house.
16 is when I put a name on the feeling
Can't remember, I grew up with a single mother and three sisters so as far back as I can remember I wanted to be more like them. Troubling
When I was 14 I went on a cruise with my parents, my mom wanted to take me to the ~spa~ and she split off going into the girls change room. I went into the men's and immediately saw a grown man, completely naked walking around, idk what I felt in that moment but I immediately turned around and ran to my cabin.
My mom, wondering where I went, eventually came back to the cabin, saw me reading a book and started questioning me.
She wanted to know *why* I ran away when I saw a naked dude.
One of the questions she eventually asked me was "Do you want to be a girl," & I paused, then said yes.
>my mom wanted to take me to the ~spa~
>One of the questions she eventually asked me was "Do you want to be a girl,"
i feel jealousy
15 is when I really started questioning it. Thats when I started realizing that lgbt people could be normal too and not just freaks like my family told me. Before that I just had general dysphoria where I knew I wanted to be more fem looking. But didn't know what I was supposed to do about that lol.
i kinda knew from elementary as in that i didnt feel like a boy or like i was the same as the other boys but even if i had known the concept of being trans back then i wouldn't have called myself that after all, it was prepuberty so there was no real difference between me and the girls i was friends with on a first glance (i had relatively long hair back then and where i lived people would dress their children in unisex clothing)
it started to change when i was 11 and people started to treat me more as a boy and when puberty began to show it really drove me insanne and made me miserable
So at around 13/14 i tried to really come out to my mother... who thought it was just a sexual fetish kind of thing which drove me back into the closet
then she died and i had to move in with my father and my stepmother, move to a different state and switch schools
i didnt get along with either of them and after a year, we moved again, i had to switch schools again my depression fricked me up completely and at that point i tried to come out to my father again
who basically reacted like my mom
i even tried to talk to a therapist about this at some point but cuz i wasnt there for that and rather cuz my mom wanted to know why i was causing so many problems in school that went nowhere
11 originally but repressed till i was 18 because of transphobic family
16
i just turned 20 and im still repressing
17 cos im an agp hon
When i was 11 or 12 i first heard about what trans people where and i was a little confused, i didnt kno you could change ur gender just like that. I told my mom about it, and she told me i wasnt trans and was just going through a phase. I was raised ultraconservative and catholic so being trans wasnt rly an option. I didnt feel so much dysphoria till i was in puberty, and thats when the dysphoria got very intense. I thought i would eventually grow out of it so i repressed till I was at least 17. And then I decided i didnt want to live like anymore.
9. Wouldn't even let anyone cut a single shred of my hair before then, and almost realized at 7, but i was simply too moronic
>and almost realized at 7, but i was simply too moronic
Me missing somehow dreams of being a girl, wanting a fem name, and burning off body hair when I first got it.
this is such a good thread. i'm definitely not trans, just a little AGP sometimes
Yep this is a great reminder that I am not trans and just massively coping about my life and also a fetishist agp gay
nothing wrong with that anon, you just are who you are. i need to learn to accept myself as a man who crossdresses sometimes too but it's gonna be hard.
spending too long on this board really made me think i was trans. good luck to everyone though. i think i'll still stay, seeing boymoders and successful transitions make me really happy though and im happy for those of you out there
would you mind explaining what makes you think like that?
why does this thread convince you that you are not trans?
Probably because they realized later than others or some dumb shit like that
I dont have these early memories of being desperate about being a girl as a child.
The closest thing is porn experimentation when i hit puberty, stuff like gender bender hentai and the like. Not that that is any indication.
None of this "I dreamed of being a girl since I was 7"
of course my memory isn't the best, too many shit has happened but still I would remember if I wanted to be a girl.
I simple took a fetish I had, one of many, and started thinking it was reality when in fact it is not, as evidenced by this very thread, with people having clear desires since some early memory and clear indication of their desire manifesting in real life.
Having a problem is not the same as understanding what tbe problem is.
Did you never feel weird, like there was something wrong but you couldn't put your finger on what, like you were different from others, a sense of longing for something but you could never figure out what, a sense of envy and desire when you saw girls just being girls, feeling like you were missing something even though you had the same things as every other kid?
I knew I was supposed to be a girl as young as 4, but somewhere along the way I managed to repress so well that I almost forgot about it and tried my hardest to be a boy, a sensitive boy like everyone called me.
And did not realize again till puberty.
>Did you never feel weird, like there was something wrong but you couldn't put your finger on what, like you were different from others, a sense of longing for something but you could never figure out what, a sense of envy and desire when you saw girls just being girls, feeling like you were missing something even though you had the same things as every other kid?
I was pretty different thats true I guess? I didnt have as much as a crush, and never tried to get a gf until senior year of high school, but thats because I was a shy loser with depression and self esteem issues.
Girls didn't really seem to matter to me when younger.
I really dont fricking know anymore. It could easily be just repression, but I just feel fake thinking about it, you know?
Just being agp seems far more straightforward of an answer, that severe repression of being trans.
i guess those answers are as good a reason as my answer for why im trans
thank you both for taking the time to answer
cause i dont have these moments of clarity before i was 20. i was fine living my life as male and being in male dominated spaces and doing male sports, and having short hair. i remember being uncomfortable around females and women my age in general cause i dont ever want them to know i crossdress to get off. it's pretty easy to avoid women in general though cause they always assume im gay or something. which was weird cause im definitely not gay, i just like being a woman in the bedroom just not IRL. maybe if im lucky i'll find someone who can tolerate my kinks and we can live happily every after :p
I'm not trans. I'm a real girl forced to live as a male by some kind of curse.
Probably because I'm some kind of space princess or something.
I've rralized about the curse at least since I was 4. Maybe earlier but I can't remember
I'll never be fully secure in my identity as trans cause I have trauma so I'll always worry the conservatives are right.
Same
I dressed up as a cheerleader for Halloween when I was 6 with fake boobs and everything then I starting praying to god to change me into a girl when I was 11 but I didn’t know about trans people until I was about 15
Still have no idea if I am.
Around ~14ish I knew I wasn't quite like other guys but wrote it off as mild autism, I was 19 when I realized that most people don't contextually swap between male/female voices in their internal monologue or have a fully developed mental image of themselves as the opposite gender. Got super confident and started casually dating around 22 only to realize that PIV sex does next to nothing for me and that cuddling and making out are the highlights of hooking up with a girl. Didn't know what to do with this for years until I started lurking here and settled on "I'd probably transition if there was a super easy way to do it, but otherwise I think I'm okay cuz I'm not noticeably dysphoric".
I was an egg until 18 but I kinda knew deep down since I was about 11. I always felt like if someone seen my bare chest in like swimming that I was naked or something so I covered up
used to practise voice feminisation at 11 years old without knowing it was a thing I didn't want to have a deep voice, I became extremely quiet and awkward when my voice dropped
as a kid I always used to pretend to be a female superhero in a game/movie when nobody was around.
I hated the way other guys would act especially when I was in high school, could never relate to them.
I preferred feminine exercises like stretching/yoga and cardio instead of football/basketball. I used compensate for lack of masculinity by lifting weights and faking confidence.