I don't mean to imply that you do hate trans people, I am trying to help you find what factors about her are different than the people you're usually attracted to so that we can try to find out why you feel that way.
She's just different in general, there isn't anything in particular. Sorry for being vague but I just don't know what it is about her. The only thing that truly stands out is that she's trans I guess? I've never met a mtf besides her, I've only met ftms before
>>how did she respond >it makes my friends unhappy
how is this HER response??????
I don't know she is really hard to read
1 year ago
Anonymous
>I don't know she is really hard to read
okay, well, all i can guess is that maybe you are pushing the boundaries on what she will tolerate, in order to provoke a reaction out of her. like, i saw a youtube video once about someone who lost their sense of taste, but because spicy food is a sensation, rather than a taste, he was still able to enjoy spicy food. so he would construct his diet exclusively around texture and sustenance, while adding spice to taste:
maybe it is like that, where you are merely using it as a means to reach the end of emotional feedback
1 year ago
Anonymous
makes sense, but then what does that say about me
1 year ago
Anonymous
i would say it means you care, but, you know. kind of hard to say that when your means is evoking pain
maybe you can find other ways to reach emotional feedback yet. or, maybe your sadism can be controlled, so it's just light teasing, instead of like "this is why no one likes you" and fricked up shit like that. some people are into spanking, but, they know better than to leave bruises that turn purple, or use thin tools that leave deep marks, etc. you can be a sadist without it being entirely unreasonable for her to lean into it
note that i am completely in the dark on sadist/masochist dynamics, so take all this with a grain of salt
1 year ago
Anonymous
right now I don't really bring it out much, I just want it and imagine it. i'm trying to keep a lid on it so that she and the rest of my friends don't think i'm a huge butthole
Hmm, well vague information isn't terribly useful. Let's try a different angle then.
How do you feel when you act sadistic toward her? What itch does it scratch? Do you only feel this way in her physical presence, or do you want to act this way over messages?
It makes me excited. it's like it's own kind of lust, I just want to see her react to it and that turns me on. it's easier to do it online because I feel less afraid, but when I fantasize about it i imagine it in person of course
1 year ago
Anonymous
>I just want to see her react to it and that turns me on.
there is this sadist story i once saw, i don't remember if it was a NSFFW screencap or not. basically, it involves this older guy getting a girl who signed her life away to him, who on her own said her ultimate fetish was being put in a concrete box and having it be filled with cement, while she was still alive
there was a lot of stuff in between, with her apparently getting really fake breast implants, lip implants or something, fetishy surgeries like that, and being put on display at a party the guy was having
in the end, she was buried with her arms in a "reverse prayer" position, and had tubed fed down her nostrils so she could breathe, and a tube fed down her throat so she could eat. before this, she tried to beg to not have him go through with the cement burial. but, he didn't listen
he and his maids kept her alive for a few months, but stopped even seeing her as a real person after a while, and often forgot to feed her for days at a time. eventually they pumped the tubes full of cement
i say all this to say, this sadism is completely removed from feedback; the literal only context feedback that was ever given that i can remember was the girl begging to not be subject to the live burial at the very end. i feel this is an important distinction. when your sadism cannot exist without feedback, your method is exclusively a means to the end of receiving feedback. when the intrinsic act is what feeds your sadism, you don't need a receptive partner for it. i guess my ultimate ultimate point is, you may have just found your perfect partner for what you never realized you wanted
1 year ago
Anonymous
you don't actually believe that story... right?
1 year ago
Anonymous
no. without considering anything else, the maid/ party thing completely broke your suspension of disbelief. and the surgeries were just moronic. they involved removing her ribs for some reason, as well
the sadism itself is whatever. obviously you can't sign your rights away and have the dom be absolved of all responsibility; i've read the wikipedia page of a man who kept a listing up on craigslist for months of wanting to eat someone, and when a man finally responded, and he did exactly that with him consensually, he was sent to prison, anyway. it was just gross wish fulfillment. i really do not know why the sexual surgeries were even necessary
i read another one screencap sadist story about a man turning unwanted ophans into quad amputee deaf and blind living dildos without teeth. but that was largely just a display of writing torture than anything devoid of emotional feedback
1 year ago
Anonymous
Ignoring all the other stuff, rib removal surgery real. It is done on the lowest 2-3 pairs of ribs which aren't attached to the sternum and are less structurally necessary. It allows for thr creation of a tighter waistline for people with bulky ribcages
1 year ago
Anonymous
not that anyone cares, but i found the two stories i referenced by googling "cement burial reverse prayer story" and "orphan blind deaf amputate sex story":
https://grometsplaza.net/world/buried/storiesad/the_box.html
https://www.wattpad.com/368591834-compilation-of-horror-stories-5-e-girlta-slave-dolls
the rib thing was only a single line saying "A surgeon had removed her two lower ribs to enable her current size." so, guess he was aware of what you say
1 year ago
Anonymous
Lol I appreciate ur effort but I'll decline reading them; I'd already heard about the latter story too and there's something about that kind of grotesquerie that really sticks in my brain and which I shouldn't indulge. Thanks anyway tho lol
1 year ago
Anonymous
Nevermind I couldn't resist the temptation
1 year ago
Anonymous
you wanna get to know her better even if it means getting a ride out of her I guess?
1 year ago
Anonymous
rise*
1 year ago
Anonymous
Hmm, well vague information isn't terribly useful. Let's try a different angle then.
How do you feel when you act sadistic toward her? What itch does it scratch? Do you only feel this way in her physical presence, or do you want to act this way over messages?
i just say mean things, put her down, usually in a soft jokey way but i really push it. i have been better about it but i just constantly want to talk shit to her and push her buttons. i wish i could do more though. but also i don't really wish to because i know it's mean and part of me doesn't want to be mean or make her upset but then another part of me wants to bully the frick out of her and completely enjoys it. there's some kind of duality going on
Autogynandromorphophilic, basically being turned on at the thought of being a dickgirl
i mean i have that too but i don't think that is what this is
it's not sadistic and mean, is that trans women are women, which means they're insufferable in all the feminine ways.
fickle, indecisive, paranoid about whatever, and moody. you're talking to a female. there's no "right" way to talk to them, but if you ask how, they'll immediately kneejerk as if you did something wrong
i don't understand the logic. why would wanting to be a trans girl make me act mean towards a trans girl i'm attracted to?
1 year ago
Anonymous
There's no logic to it, it's an irrational reaction a specific type of mental ill woman makes, I've seen examples countless times. It's how I clocked you as agamp without you expressing anything specifically agamp besides being mean to a trans girl
it's not sadistic and mean, is that trans women are women, which means they're insufferable in all the feminine ways.
fickle, indecisive, paranoid about whatever, and moody. you're talking to a female. there's no "right" way to talk to them, but if you ask how, they'll immediately kneejerk as if you did something wrong
idk. maybe something happened in your life that enabled you to better accept that side of you? or maybe you just feel superior to her? i don't know, i think the short answer here is that you're just sadistic and this specific person triggers your sadism for unknown reasons. thats just how attraction works.
have you actually treated her that way before? how did she respond
yes I'm mean to her sometimes and it makes my friends unhappy so I try to stop
I have no idea. I don't hate trans people
I don't mean to imply that you do hate trans people, I am trying to help you find what factors about her are different than the people you're usually attracted to so that we can try to find out why you feel that way.
She's just different in general, there isn't anything in particular. Sorry for being vague but I just don't know what it is about her. The only thing that truly stands out is that she's trans I guess? I've never met a mtf besides her, I've only met ftms before
I don't know she is really hard to read
>I don't know she is really hard to read
okay, well, all i can guess is that maybe you are pushing the boundaries on what she will tolerate, in order to provoke a reaction out of her. like, i saw a youtube video once about someone who lost their sense of taste, but because spicy food is a sensation, rather than a taste, he was still able to enjoy spicy food. so he would construct his diet exclusively around texture and sustenance, while adding spice to taste:
maybe it is like that, where you are merely using it as a means to reach the end of emotional feedback
makes sense, but then what does that say about me
i would say it means you care, but, you know. kind of hard to say that when your means is evoking pain
maybe you can find other ways to reach emotional feedback yet. or, maybe your sadism can be controlled, so it's just light teasing, instead of like "this is why no one likes you" and fricked up shit like that. some people are into spanking, but, they know better than to leave bruises that turn purple, or use thin tools that leave deep marks, etc. you can be a sadist without it being entirely unreasonable for her to lean into it
note that i am completely in the dark on sadist/masochist dynamics, so take all this with a grain of salt
right now I don't really bring it out much, I just want it and imagine it. i'm trying to keep a lid on it so that she and the rest of my friends don't think i'm a huge butthole
It makes me excited. it's like it's own kind of lust, I just want to see her react to it and that turns me on. it's easier to do it online because I feel less afraid, but when I fantasize about it i imagine it in person of course
>I just want to see her react to it and that turns me on.
there is this sadist story i once saw, i don't remember if it was a NSFFW screencap or not. basically, it involves this older guy getting a girl who signed her life away to him, who on her own said her ultimate fetish was being put in a concrete box and having it be filled with cement, while she was still alive
there was a lot of stuff in between, with her apparently getting really fake breast implants, lip implants or something, fetishy surgeries like that, and being put on display at a party the guy was having
in the end, she was buried with her arms in a "reverse prayer" position, and had tubed fed down her nostrils so she could breathe, and a tube fed down her throat so she could eat. before this, she tried to beg to not have him go through with the cement burial. but, he didn't listen
he and his maids kept her alive for a few months, but stopped even seeing her as a real person after a while, and often forgot to feed her for days at a time. eventually they pumped the tubes full of cement
i say all this to say, this sadism is completely removed from feedback; the literal only context feedback that was ever given that i can remember was the girl begging to not be subject to the live burial at the very end. i feel this is an important distinction. when your sadism cannot exist without feedback, your method is exclusively a means to the end of receiving feedback. when the intrinsic act is what feeds your sadism, you don't need a receptive partner for it. i guess my ultimate ultimate point is, you may have just found your perfect partner for what you never realized you wanted
you don't actually believe that story... right?
no. without considering anything else, the maid/ party thing completely broke your suspension of disbelief. and the surgeries were just moronic. they involved removing her ribs for some reason, as well
the sadism itself is whatever. obviously you can't sign your rights away and have the dom be absolved of all responsibility; i've read the wikipedia page of a man who kept a listing up on craigslist for months of wanting to eat someone, and when a man finally responded, and he did exactly that with him consensually, he was sent to prison, anyway. it was just gross wish fulfillment. i really do not know why the sexual surgeries were even necessary
i read another one screencap sadist story about a man turning unwanted ophans into quad amputee deaf and blind living dildos without teeth. but that was largely just a display of writing torture than anything devoid of emotional feedback
Ignoring all the other stuff, rib removal surgery real. It is done on the lowest 2-3 pairs of ribs which aren't attached to the sternum and are less structurally necessary. It allows for thr creation of a tighter waistline for people with bulky ribcages
not that anyone cares, but i found the two stories i referenced by googling "cement burial reverse prayer story" and "orphan blind deaf amputate sex story":
https://grometsplaza.net/world/buried/storiesad/the_box.html
https://www.wattpad.com/368591834-compilation-of-horror-stories-5-e-girlta-slave-dolls
the rib thing was only a single line saying "A surgeon had removed her two lower ribs to enable her current size." so, guess he was aware of what you say
Lol I appreciate ur effort but I'll decline reading them; I'd already heard about the latter story too and there's something about that kind of grotesquerie that really sticks in my brain and which I shouldn't indulge. Thanks anyway tho lol
Nevermind I couldn't resist the temptation
you wanna get to know her better even if it means getting a ride out of her I guess?
rise*
Hmm, well vague information isn't terribly useful. Let's try a different angle then.
How do you feel when you act sadistic toward her? What itch does it scratch? Do you only feel this way in her physical presence, or do you want to act this way over messages?
>>how did she respond
>it makes my friends unhappy
how is this HER response??????
Do you think you feel this way towards her because she is trans, or is there another factor?
trans women are born to be the worlds punching bag
hot
its tragic
I think you're AGAMP and jealous and expressing it in a mentally ill female way
What is agamp?
Autogynandromorphophilic, basically being turned on at the thought of being a dickgirl
What do you do to her that's mean
i just say mean things, put her down, usually in a soft jokey way but i really push it. i have been better about it but i just constantly want to talk shit to her and push her buttons. i wish i could do more though. but also i don't really wish to because i know it's mean and part of me doesn't want to be mean or make her upset but then another part of me wants to bully the frick out of her and completely enjoys it. there's some kind of duality going on
i mean i have that too but i don't think that is what this is
anon i'm female
>i don't think that is what this is
It is, it's why she's the one who triggers you into being an butthole
i don't understand the logic. why would wanting to be a trans girl make me act mean towards a trans girl i'm attracted to?
There's no logic to it, it's an irrational reaction a specific type of mental ill woman makes, I've seen examples countless times. It's how I clocked you as agamp without you expressing anything specifically agamp besides being mean to a trans girl
then what kind of mentally ill woman am i
>i'm female
so you know i'm right
it's not sadistic and mean, is that trans women are women, which means they're insufferable in all the feminine ways.
fickle, indecisive, paranoid about whatever, and moody. you're talking to a female. there's no "right" way to talk to them, but if you ask how, they'll immediately kneejerk as if you did something wrong
idk. maybe something happened in your life that enabled you to better accept that side of you? or maybe you just feel superior to her? i don't know, i think the short answer here is that you're just sadistic and this specific person triggers your sadism for unknown reasons. thats just how attraction works.