I can get dates. But not past the first one and certainly the 2nd one. I dated over 60 women in the last few years, just 2 last week and I have at least 2 lined up for this week.
But after the 1st date I get friendzoned either explicitly or by their new-grown coldness.
Is it because I dont usually become romantic/sexual on the first date? Are women this insecure that they think I dont like them or something?
I am not a virgin and had a few short and two LTR, some prospects of relationships as well.
But even on those I didnt initiate pretty much until the 3rd date. So what the frick is up? I dont look different from my pics. And they show some interest initially.
Maybe they smell my autism and depression (and the low sex drive/no horniness that is the cause of the aforementioned depression)?
You are definitely doing something massively wrong, either saying very ignorant shit, asking bad questions that you have no business knowing, being a drag... if you can't think critically on this after 60 first dates it's really a lost cause. No one here can do your homework, actually devote time to thinking how you come across
>mot sexual on first date
Trust me that is a huge blessing
>Trust me that is a huge blessing
WDYM by that? I mean I don't initiate anything. The first date is pretty much always friendly, however if I'm interested in her, I will make some jokes that will imply my interest. They will be obvious.
My idea was that maybe I'm not focused on the romantic side quickly enough for the short attention span women have nowadays.
>actually devote time to thinking how you come across
This may be problematic due to my tisms that I mentioned in OP. I literally have to be told what I am doing wrong most of the time especially in social aspects, I'm that moronic.
>You are definitely doing something massively wrong
Weird thing is, early on when I started using OLD and was starting dating in general, I wouldn't get so many dates, but the ones I got turned into at least practice relationships.
>autist
>had 60 dates
How
Actually hundreds if not thousand dates if counting relationship dates.
60+ women anon. But it doesnt matter, I cant get a relationship to save my life.
How? Online dating + a lot of time spent on looking for someone. Not that great IMO.
>Maybe they smell my autism and depression (and the low sex drive/no horniness that is the cause of the aforementioned depression)?
Do you even like those women you meet? Often being depressed can make you appear cold and uninterested to others. But also you just don't really connect to them and that's why you don't put more effort into it but still would like to frick. I did this and probably showed it too. Also women tend to date multiple people at the same time and then they rather choose the non autist with clear signals.
Nice quads, checked.
Yeah I like some of them very much like the one girl I had 2 dates with this march. But she seemed like the one who likes to have the things go slow.
Just like the one I had a date yesterday. I think they may think I dont like them. But its so stupid to have this assumption after first date.
Especially since I show interest in seeing them again. So maybe this isnt it... I am just baffled.
How much do you talk to them before going to a date? Also btw don't worry about having to show romantic/sexual early on unless you just want to frick and drop her. I had multiple dates like yours, talked a lot before, great first date and then it just stopped or after the 2nd. But found one gf after a while, didn't do much different things, it just didn't stop after the first because I guess she really liked the way I was.
As in online? It differs. Sometimes for a few days sometimes over a week. Although I learned to message with a lot of girls now at the same time and respond once/twice to each one per day (if they respond still).
Sometimes the convos are really short sometimes they are longer if she is this kind of girl. I match their energy now you know. I am quick to ask them oit now. They agree rather easily.
So IDK maybe I am unlikable IRL to women. Maybe make a different impression online even though I am being myself.
Same here, I was all the same for the girls who liked me and it worked with them. Maybe they were girls who wanted to be in a relationship more than the majority, so they had lower expectations. Idk.
>I match their energy now you know.
yeah, that's good.
>So IDK maybe I am unlikable IRL to women.
If feel like I read similar stories form normiegays online about online dating including women. Your number also is pretty high compared to other men, so there isn't anything wrong about your looks. It's hard to say if you do something wrong without being there and watching the date. Or they just don't connect to you. If you would approach it more sexually you probably could frick some of them and they would still ghost you afterwards. You just have to keep at it until you find a good match.
>Or they just don't connect to you. If you would approach it more sexually you probably could frick some of them and they would still ghost you afterwards. You just have to keep at it until you find a good match.
This would just prove perfectly how fricked up the dating market is nowadays. That would be unthinkable 20-30 years ago. Hell, as I said, my initial dates in early 2010s all resulted with some kind of relationship.
It is shit because it's so oversaturated and users don't bother to put much effort since no one else does too. Okcupid pre 2015 was a way different experience. Wouldn't know where to get the same experience again.
You reckon it's just the case of oversaturation? Maybe oversaturated with people who are not really that interested in anything serious (even though they may think they are).
Well then IDK how to find those girls who are actually looking for a relationship on OLD apps. The last relationship I had like that was from a cold approach so it may be telling.
Has your testosterone level been tested? Full lifting is the best exercise proven to raise it.
For what to say, read Nicholas Boothman's books.
>read books to know what to say
You think I have all this time to read books and probably don't get anything out of them ( I have a hard time focusing on reading anyways because of my ADHD).
I probably heard the same ideas of what to say on youtube videos.
And yeah I had my T levels tested, it was in the norm in the higher levels. And I lift. But no amounts of addidtional testosterone are going to numb down anxiety and other mental problems.
>Is it because I dont usually become romantic/sexual on the first date?
this is most certainly it. You should be trying to frick them, but not autisticly, if that makes sense. If you don't try to escalate they think you are gay or boring.
>Is it because I dont usually become romantic/sexual on the first date?
Yes. Typically throughout a first date I will:
>Hold her hand
>Rub her shoulder, thigh
>Stroke her ear
>Rub her face
>Hold her wrist
>Graze her neck
>Whisper in her ear
>Go in for a kiss, but then pull back
>Scratch her palms
>Rub her fingers
Start doing all of this. You will likely frick it up at first, but eventually you will become calibrated.
Sounds autistic as frick. Like a massage / physical therapy tutorial.
What if I dont like it on the first date?
Spoomer
Yeah I think due to depression I have a low libido. And whatever I have, it hides itself behind anxiety of the first date. Even if I want to kiss a girl, I need time.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-first-date-sex-girls-every-date
https://www.girlschase.com/article/5-first-date-plans-lead-sex
https://www.girlschase.com/content/3-second-date-strategies-make-her-flirt-and-swoon
Based on the op I would say you’re just boring and not exciting in anyway as you’ve stated. You have no sex drive? How old are you 50? The lack of sex drive translates into a lot of problems for men in the dating world and for whatever reason is more common than I think most realize
So. You look not just good, but very good.
Your conversation though must fricking suck.
I can't tell you what it is, but something to do with how you banter back and forth.
What you should do are some practice dates, since you get them so easy. Try some banter out on them.
Maybe ask one of the girls to practice with you. It's not like it could do any harm anyway.
Wdym by banter? As in sexual talk straight away?